Feel free to share YOUR jokes in the comments - maybe we'll include some of them in later blog posts!
**Comment on any post this month & be entered to win FREE BOOKS!**
***Countdown today: TEN BOOKS under the Christmas tree, see below***
***Countdown today: TEN BOOKS under the Christmas tree, see below***
Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
He's a fun guy to be with.
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.
Why should husbands make the early morning tea for their wives?
Because the Bible says He Brews
What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there is a "mile" between the first and the last letters.
*
The 10 WORST Christmas cracker jokes from a recent survey:
1. What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even.
2. On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
The outside.
3. What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper.
4. What's white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
5. What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette.
6. Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?
It blew away.
7. What's furry and minty?
A polo bear.
8. How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.
9. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
10. What do you call a penguin in theSahara desert?
Lost.
*
Some jokes from our readers:
*
Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again
He's a fun guy to be with.
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.
Why should husbands make the early morning tea for their wives?
Because the Bible says He Brews
What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there is a "mile" between the first and the last letters.
*
The 10 WORST Christmas cracker jokes from a recent survey:
1. What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even.
2. On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
The outside.
3. What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper.
4. What's white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
5. What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette.
6. Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?
It blew away.
7. What's furry and minty?
A polo bear.
8. How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.
9. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
10. What do you call a penguin in the
Lost.
*
Some jokes from our readers:
Anne
Q) What disease can you catch from putting up too many Christmas decorations?
A) Tinsilitis
A) Tinsilitis
Vanessa
What do elves learn in school?
ANSWER: The Elf-abet
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
ANSWER: Frostbite
ANSWER: The Elf-abet
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
ANSWER: Frostbite
flchen1
What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?
Both haveSandy
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Mistletoe!!
Both have
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Mistletoe!!
*
Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again
Share some Christmas music - How many of them are your favourites as well? recommended by Clare London:
Link: http://youtu.be/8sB7_zCneG8A clip from Love Actually, one of Toni Anderson's favourite Christmas movies:
Follow the link: http://youtu.be/XVSmT4nNEkQ
(embedding disabled, I'm afraid)
Follow this on each post during Dec as the books mount up. Comment on any post to to be entered in the draw. Final prize giveaway on Jan 2!
TEN BOOKS ALREADY!
Blinded by Our Eyes by Clare London
Dead Silent - Shirley Wells
Sea of Suspicion by Toni Anderson
Under Fire by Rita Henuber
The Shoeless Kid - Marcelle Dube
No One to Trust - Julie Moffett
Icescapade - Josh Lanyon
Choice of backlist - Shelley Munro
Desperate Choices - Kathy Ivan
Protective Custody - Wynter Daniels
Desperate Choices - Kathy Ivan
Protective Custody - Wynter Daniels
10 comments:
Clare London You deserve to be shot :)These jokes are dreadful. Mind, I'm reading them sober. Merry Christmas
I just love Santa's flat. Ho, ho, ho.
(Mike, we can't have Clare shot. She does all the work round here. :-))
Loved the jokes now it's time for my morning mug of coffee.
I'm shameless! I just post the jokes, honest *whistles with mock innocence*.
I don't know what it is about Christmas that seems to bring out the cheesiness and corn :).
"Mistletoe"? That is dreadful. They're all dreadful, actually. Wish I could stop laughing...
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho, ho!! Love the cheesy jokes!! Merry Christmas to all!!
I love the flat reindeer and LOVE ACTUALLY clip :) Great jokes (for the kids :))
Happy Christmas and Holidays Everyone!!
ROFL! Mike, I'm sure these would all be much more hilarious with a drink or two ;)
Thanks for the giggles!
Here's one of our family's favorite Christmas song/videos from Straight No Chaser -- 12 Days of Christmas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8&ob=av2e
Have a wonderful Christmas Eve!
Hi Shirley .. those were such fun .. and the 'flat' was just too funny .. can't think for now! I do tell the jokes to the oldies .. they enjoy them .. so thanks for this help!! My conversations always need a lightener towards laughter ..
Cheers and a very not too merry Christmas .. enjoy - Hilary
Oh, wow...these are my hubby's kind of jokes. I am soooooooooooo NOT telling him them or we will never hear the end of them! LOL!
books4me67 at ymail dot com
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