Friday, December 23, 2011

Get your Laughing Gear ready for Christmas :)

IT'S FRIDAY FUN! and the Not Your Usual Suspects authors share some jokes and cheeky fun with you all through the Holiday season :)

Feel free to share YOUR jokes in the comments - maybe we'll include some of them in later blog posts!

**Comment on any post this month & be entered to win FREE BOOKS!**
***Countdown today: TEN BOOKS under the Christmas tree, see below***




Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
He's a fun guy to be with.

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.

Why should husbands make the early morning tea for their wives?
Because the Bible says He Brews

What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there is a "mile" between the first and the last letters.


*

The 10 WORST Christmas cracker jokes from a recent survey:
1. What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even.
2. On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
The outside.
3. What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper.
4. What's white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
5. What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette.
6. Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?
It blew away.
7. What's furry and minty?
A polo bear.
8. How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.
9. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
10. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost.

*

Some jokes from our readers:


Anne
Q) What disease can you catch from putting up too many Christmas decorations?
A) Tinsilitis

Vanessa
What do elves learn in school?
ANSWER: The Elf-abet

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
ANSWER: Frostbite

flchen1
What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?
Both have Sandy Claws

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Mistletoe!!

*

Knock Knock...

Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas

Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?

Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business

Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger

Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful

Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again

                          






                         

Share some Christmas music - How many of them are your favourites as well? recommended by Clare London:




Link:  http://youtu.be/8sB7_zCneG8

A clip from Love Actually, one of Toni Anderson's favourite Christmas movies:



Follow the link: http://youtu.be/XVSmT4nNEkQ

(embedding disabled, I'm afraid)





                                    

                     

Update on the BOOK GIVEAWAY:
Follow this on each post during Dec as the books mount up. Comment on any post to to be entered in the draw. Final prize giveaway on Jan 2!

TEN BOOKS ALREADY!


                                 



Blinded by Our Eyes by Clare London
Dead Silent - Shirley Wells
Sea of Suspicion by Toni Anderson
Under Fire by Rita Henuber
The Shoeless Kid - Marcelle Dube
No One to Trust - Julie Moffett
Icescapade - Josh Lanyon
Choice of backlist - Shelley Munro
Desperate Choices - Kathy Ivan
Protective Custody - Wynter Daniels

10 comments:

Mike Keyton said...

Clare London You deserve to be shot :)These jokes are dreadful. Mind, I'm reading them sober. Merry Christmas

Shirley Wells said...

I just love Santa's flat. Ho, ho, ho.

(Mike, we can't have Clare shot. She does all the work round here. :-))

Elise Warner said...

Loved the jokes now it's time for my morning mug of coffee.

Clare London said...

I'm shameless! I just post the jokes, honest *whistles with mock innocence*.

I don't know what it is about Christmas that seems to bring out the cheesiness and corn :).

Marcelle Dubé said...

"Mistletoe"? That is dreadful. They're all dreadful, actually. Wish I could stop laughing...

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Julie Moffett said...

Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho, ho!! Love the cheesy jokes!! Merry Christmas to all!!

Toni Anderson said...

I love the flat reindeer and LOVE ACTUALLY clip :) Great jokes (for the kids :))
Happy Christmas and Holidays Everyone!!

Frank said...

ROFL! Mike, I'm sure these would all be much more hilarious with a drink or two ;)

Thanks for the giggles!

Here's one of our family's favorite Christmas song/videos from Straight No Chaser -- 12 Days of Christmas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8&ob=av2e

Have a wonderful Christmas Eve!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Shirley .. those were such fun .. and the 'flat' was just too funny .. can't think for now! I do tell the jokes to the oldies .. they enjoy them .. so thanks for this help!! My conversations always need a lightener towards laughter ..

Cheers and a very not too merry Christmas .. enjoy - Hilary

books4me said...

Oh, wow...these are my hubby's kind of jokes. I am soooooooooooo NOT telling him them or we will never hear the end of them! LOL!

books4me67 at ymail dot com