It’s Hoaching with Kids

If I dropped “It’s hoaching with kids” into a manuscript without any context, would you be able to guess what it means? How about if I told you that the speaker was looking down a hill at a playground?

As a writer, before I include this bit of culturally unique dialogue I have to decide whether the scene is important enough for me to risk confusing the reader. And that depends on the story and the character.

Since I write romantic thrillers, there aren’t a lot of places where I’m willing to potentially slow down the pacing to show off a cool regional phrase that many of my readers might never have encountered before. I’m more likely to add linguistic color when my current cast of international special ops soldiers are hanging out or preparing for/debriefing from a mission. Having a Brit use “torch” for "flashlight" is probably less risky than having my Scot say “the area is hoaching with rebels.”

Swear words and endearments are particularly easy ways to show a character’s cultural background without adding too much confusion. The reader might not understand the exact meaning of querida, but the context should make it clear whether the character is swearing or being tender.

Where do I find appropriate idiomatic gems for cultures that I’ve no experience with? Research! I’ve received lists of swear words from writers in Sweden and South Africa. I’ve consulted with writers here in the US regarding insults my Cajun and Oklahoman characters can throw at one another. And since I lived in West Africa for a couple of years, I have a good sampling of phrases in their unique English.

I also like to listen to comedians from the home region of my characters. Not only do I get a good sense of slang from comedians, but their routines often pick on cultural stereotypes in a way that only a native would think of. A few comedians I’ve enjoyed listening to during my research are Scottish comedian Danny Bhoy and South African comedian Trever Noah.

My primary resource for unique American English words and phrases is the podcast A Way with Words. Followers phone or write in to ask questions about the origins and meanings of phrases or words. I’ve started a list in Evernote of cool phrases I’ve picked up from this show. For example, a caller from Virginia said that they call goat poop “nanny berries.” While there are plenty of goats wandering around in parts of West Africa, I don’t have a character from Virginia, so I won’t be using this phrase. However, I might have one of my Southern heroes “mash the brake” instead of “stomp on the brake.”

Other places I’ve picked up regionalisms are writer forums, expert forums such as the Crimescenewriters Yahoo! group, and podcasts. I came across the phrase “It’s hoaching with kids” while listening to the Scotland Outdoors podcast from BBC Radio Scotland. I added this podcast to my arsenal as part of my research into Scottish speech rhythms and phrases for help with the Scottish hero of the second book in my WAR series, WAR: Intrusion.

One surprising aspect of my research was how common American expressions have become around the globe. There’s so much international exposure to American movies and music that people from other countries often use Americanisms. So I have to be doubly careful that a character really would use a culturally specific phrase and not an equivalent American one.

When I need that small bit of cultural flavor in order to flesh out a character, I refer to my Evernote lists and pull out something I think my character would say and that’s also contextually appropriate. If my readers drop out of the story to check the dictionary, I haven’t done my job.

As a reader, do you appreciate having characters use culturally unique phrases? Do you have any favorites from your region that should be included in my cool phrases file?

[FYI, “hoaching with” is a Scottish phrase that means it’s crowded with or swarming with. Hoaching can also be used by itself to mean a place is very busy. Such as, “the toy store was hoaching the day before Christmas.”]

---

Vanessa Kier writes action-packed romantic thrillers with an edge. She’s set her latest series, WAR, in West Africa, where she lived for a time. She’s also coaches writers in Scrivener and other tech.

You can find her at: www.vanessakier.com

Birth of an Activist

by Janis Patterson

I can’t stand it any more. I have become an activist.

I cannot bear the unending mangling of our beautiful language, or the overwhelmingly blatant demonstrations of ignorance that surround us daily. Now I rarely go out without being armed with my trusty Marks-A-Lot™ with which I gleefully commit corrective acts of sabotage.

Nor am I alone. After starting a loosely knit organization called 5/A (also known as the American Association Against Apostrophe Abuse) I have discovered that there are others who dislike the grammatical ignorance that is so prevalent today. We are few in number, but growing.

My main target is usually the grocery store, because that’s where it all began. One day while I was shopping there was a spotty youth writing a sign for bananas. I remember it exactly – Banana’s – 49 cents. (Of course, he used the cents sign, which has sadly disappeared from all modern keyboards.) I asked him, which banana’s what did he mean?

He looked at me as if I were mad. “These bananas,” he said politely enough. I then explained that it wasn’t true – what he was writing was a singular possessive, which meant something (so far unstated) that belonged to one of the bananas present. After a few more moments of enlightening conversation he turned tail and ran for his manager.

The manager was kind, very soothing and thanked me for bringing the matter to his attention – employees are usually very kind to strong-minded older ladies with canes – then brought out a new card and, as a concession to customer relations, wrote Bananas’ – 49 cents. He couldn’t understand why I started laughing, albeit somewhat hysterically. Neither did he understand it when I patiently explained the difference between singular possessive, plural possessive and simple plural.

I still shopped there for several years afterward, though I swear when they saw me coming all the stock boys grabbed their sign-making materials and ran for the back. No one ever said a word when I corrected their signs with my trusty marker, either. I should drop back by, though, and see if they have improved any – I don’t shop there any more, as the store is in Dallas. Ever since the demagogues in the city council forced that idiotic and unwanted plastic bag ban down the citizens’ throats I try not to shop in Dallas at all, preferring not to let whatever sales tax I spend go to support such stupidity. For what it’s worth, judging from the increase in traffic in the stores of the satellite cities, I’m not alone in that, either!

Nor is my educational zeal limited to grocery stores. There was a lovely shop with a huge parking lot bearing a sign Customer’s Parking. I finally called them, asking if one needed to make an appointment in order to shop in their store. They answered of course not and gave me their open hours. I then asked where I could park close by, as their sign made it obvious their parking lot was restricted to one customer at a time. After I explained and again asked where I could park that would be within their stated limitations – and without relying on luck that I would be the sole customer at any given moment – they hung up on me. Apparently some people just do not care to learn what is correct. I never did shop there. There is justice, however, because they went out of business not long after. Apparently grammar does count!

And it should – language is perhaps the highest development of humankind. It is what allows us to communicate not only with each other, but with generations yet to come. It should be exact, for it conveys information that can and should be understood forever. Perhaps a misplaced apostrophe or wandering comma in itself is no great solecism, but the greatest rents start with the tiniest of holes and before long the entire fabric can become shredded and useless. As writers we are the guardians of not only of language, but of the concept and execution of language, and both deserve our best.

The English language - hilarious or brilliant?!

Ever thought learning a foreign language was too much of a challenge for you? Let's take a quick, fun look at our very own... :)

English - absolutely hilarious/brilliant!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.


And in closing..........

If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop???







From Clare and all at Not Your Usual Suspects - HAPPY MONDAY! And isn't *that* a confusion in itself? :)

A Common Language

My stories often have both American and British characters and points of view. Having grown up in Britain and lived in North America for 9 years I always think I’ve got handle this, but my editor catches my boobs(:)) all the time. Here are some examples of the subtle and not so subtle differences between the two languages.

Jumper.

I’m always cold and like to keep my characters nice and cozy so I put them in lovely warm jumpers.

North Americans tend to wear sweaters

Knickers.

Marks and Spencer’s, naturally :)

In North America knickers are panties (I really hate it when female characters wear underpants, for me underpants are what my dad wears).

Pants.

Pants are also knickers in the UK. Also, if something is 'pants' it's crap.

In North America pants are trousers. 

I used to blush when people admired my pants over here, but not as fiercely as when someone commentated on my fanny. In the UK your fanny is your vagina. Seriously people, not something we uptight Brits discuss at parties. 

Vests. 

These foxed me for a long time. In the UK a vest is an undershirt for those extra cold days. In North America a vest is a waistcoat. 

Getting off with someone.

In the UK it usually means you scored a kiss or maybe walked someone home. In North America ‘getting off’ means something a little more...orgasmic.

Bum.

In the UK a bum is a pair of fleshy globes of loveliness that you sit on. In North American a bum is a homeless person.

Cock.

In the Midlands (UK) everyone calls everyone else ‘Cock’. Even my mom calls me cock. “Alright, Cock?” Embarrassing? You bet.

In North America you’ll get a punch in the mouth for calling someone a cock. 

Flat.

In the UK a flat (and flatmate) is the same as an apartment (with a roommate/housemate because apartmentmate just doesn't work). I don't know why it is called a flat. Stupid because it isn't flat, it is 3-D.

Spunk.

Being full of spunk in the UK is totally different to being full of spunk in North America. Not sure I want to go there. Gulp.

Differences in language affect me every day. I’m always telling the kids to get up on the pavement (sidewalk) rather than walk on the road (pavement), and when we’re doing homework we need a good rubber (eraser) to take care of mistakes. And we put the rubbish in the bin, baby, none of that trashcan garbage :) 

So what's your favorite British/US expression? What makes you giggle?