A group blog featuring an international array of killer mystery, suspense, and romantic suspense writers. With premises and story lines different from your run-of-the-mill whodunits, we tend to write outside the box. We blog several times a week on all topics relating to romantic suspense and mystery, our writing, and our readers. We welcome all comments and often have guest bloggers. All our authors can be contacted separately, too, using their own social media links.

We find our genre delightfully, dangerously, and deliciously exciting - join us here, if you do too!

Julie Moffet . Cathy Perkins . Jean Harrington . Daryl Anderson . Nico Rosso . Maureen A Miller . Sandy Parks . Lisa Q Mathews . Sharon Calvin . Lynne Connolly . Janis Patterson . Vanessa Keir . Tonya Kappes . Julie Rowe . Joni M Fisher . Leslie Langtry

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Why, Why, Why!!! Tell my Why-eye eye

I was recently editing an MS making sure I’d answered all the whys in the story and I realized I had my own real life unanswered why questions. Like:
WHY doesn’t someone make a riding vacuum cleaner?
Why do people going to the gym look for a close parking space?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are about dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is insufficient money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but they fricking have to check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when a revolver is thrown at him?
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Why did people in the 60s take acid to make the world weird and now that the world is weird take Prozac to make it normal?
Why do hot dogs come 6 to a pack and the buns come 8 to a pack
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Why is there never a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people touch a pregnant woman’s belly and say congrats but never touch a guys penis and say good job?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do some people keep reading a bad book to the bitter end to see if it’s going to get better?
Why when you finally get time to watch TV there is nothing on the 10 million channels you want to watch?
Why did I get such pleasure naming my wifi connection FBIsurvan?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else over?

Did you ever think that-
Someday health nuts are going to feel stupid dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Give a person a sandwich and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. ;-)  BTW if you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich.
 Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
 Life is like eating a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.  
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease or one chicken with bird flu is located among millions but we haven't got a clue as to where criminals and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of finding them.  
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of three friends -- if they're okay, could it be you.
Can you answer my questions?  Do you have any unanswered why questions?
Rita writes sexy stories about Extraordinary Women and the Men they Love.


Anne Marie Becker said...

OMG, Rita, thanks for the laugh!! I about spit out my coffee at the thought of telling a man's penis "good job." LOL

And I never thought about Tarzan without a beard...sounds like a great shaving commercial. Or why the bubbles in a bath are white and not the color of the soap - fascinating.

You blew my mind. Thanks, I think. LOL

Julie Moffett said...

Bwahahahahahahaha!! Hilarious, Rita! Thanks for the laugh! The Tarzan one caught my eye, too. Life is full of unanswered questions!! :)

Toni Anderson said...

Fabulous! Thanks for the laugh, Rita. I am now thinking about penises and sandwiches :)

Maureen A. Miller said...

You're a hoot, Miss Rita. And yes, I am as stumped as the rest of the ladies...why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Rita said...

Okay Tarzan's secret is Nair Hair Removal for Men. Jungle strength. Found wherever mattresses are on sale

Jean Harrington said...

Rita, this list is great. You can't let it just die. Why don't you blog/publish/swamp the media with it? Or post a different one a week under your signature line. Readers will love them and be curious about your books. I swear.

Elise Warner said...

Love it. Rita--you can do more with this. Column in Mag maybe?

Marcelle Dubé said...

Too funny, Rita! Thanks for the laught.

Shirley Wells said...

OMG, Rita, I love this! Thanks for the laugh.

Jean's right. You can't let this die.

Wendy Soliman said...

Very fun. And I can answer all your whys in one sentence. 'Because that's the way it is!'

Wynter Daniels said...

Love it, Rita! Laughing over my coffee!

J Wachowski said...

Super funny! I like "Make him a sandwich."

Rita said...

Thanks everbody. I knew when I posted this I would need a snile and a giggle this week. I didn't know so many more would.

Dee J. said...

Okay, I'm late, but this is hysterical! Thanks for the laugh!

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