1.
: point, apex: asa :
a point of transition (as from one historical period to the next) : turning point; also
: edge, verge <on the cusp of stardom>
(from
Merriam-Webster online dictionary)
A cusp is a point that marks the beginning of
a change. Being on the cusp of something means you are facing change, usually a
big change.
Cusps are uncomfortable things. There’s
always a “bated breath” feel about them, a hovering between things past and things
future, with only uncertainty ahead—and possible instability, insecurity and
dismay.
Maybe that’s just me.
That’s where I am now: teetering on the edge
of a new beginning. I am about to retire. After 45 years of working (I started
very, very young), I am now contemplating a life free of wage work and
structure, free of determining my days according to someone else’s priorities.
I’ve been looking forward to it for years. I’ve enjoyed my working life
tremendously, but just thinking of all the free time I will have to write leaves
me giddy with joy. It sounds like
a grand adventure, doesn’t it?
But that’s the thing about adventures: they
are uncomfortable, sometimes even dangerous. What if I’m leaving too early?
Should I have a fatter cushion before I throw myself off the ledge?
And what about the social aspects? I’m an
introvert, so I get most of my social needs met at work, interacting with
colleagues and clients. Will I now turn into that strange lady who lives down
the street?
The future is a little murky.
But really, is it that much different from
how I write my stories? With every story I start, I am sailing off into the
darkness, with no idea where I’m going or what’s going to happen…
<gulp>
I may be in trouble…
But… I mean… the process works for me. I never know where I’m going to end up in my stories,
but that’s what keeps the process interesting for me. It keeps me writing. So,
maybe we all have our own ways of coping with change, and cusps. Maybe this
retirement thing will work out, after all.
Now, please excuse me—I have to go check my
sails.
What about you? Any “cusps” in your life? How
have you dealt with the major changes you’ve encountered? With panic? Grace?
5 comments:
Love this post, Marcelle, and I wish you a happy, happy retirement. I feel like I've been on the cusp (love that word, BTW) of something all year, but don't know what. I've just had this angsty, crossroads-type feeling for months. Not sure why or what's around the corner, but I'm trying to be patient and just go with the flow. ;)
Anne Marie, I know, eh? It's as if your subconscious knows something but isn't ready to share with you yet. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time.
Marcelle, Marcelle, Marcelle, You're French, for Pete's sake. You're heading into C'est la vie! Have a glass of wine. Two. Any number, relax into the moment. Eat chocolate, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
Seriously, of course, you're scared. You're starting a whole new way of life, and like any adventure that can be intimidating. But, I swear to you, it's going to be wonderful. I'll argue ad hominem here: mine has been. How's that for proof?
Jean, you just made my day. Thanks!
Yikes! Missed this post because I'm still rockin' the day job. Marcelle, I'm right there with you, wondering at what point you pull the trigger and move into whatever that next phase includes. Can't wait to hear how you tackle retirement. Let us know how it evolves :)
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