DOUBT DEMONS. Those pesky thoughts that paralyze us with fear and keep us from believing in ourselves. They won’t leave me alone. I have a new book out, my first Indie novel, and it seems to be doing well. I’m getting lots of support from friends like Sally Berneathy and Sharon Sala, both of whom have known me for years and say this is my best book to date. Have another submitted to Carina Press, first in a series of modern Native American mysteries. I hope if it sells that they let me keep the title…Cherokee Justice.
Things in general are going pretty well, so why is it I can’t relax and enjoy the ride? Why am I second-guessing my choices and wondering if I’m in the wrong business?
I have two theories. The first might be silly, but I think I’m spooked because it’s just my butt on the line with the Indie books I plan on publishing. I have first date jitters. What if this doesn’t work out? What if ‘he’ kisses me—what if he doesn’t? Can I take the rejection? I’m dressed well enough. My cover artist, Linda Kage of Kage Creations provided a most excellent cover! My breath (words) must not stink, because I have my first review, 5 stars, and I’ve never met the woman who gave it.
So…WTH, ya know? Here comes the second theory. I’ve been so wrapped up with personal issues like aging parents, a son who might need to relocate for a new job (I live with him, have for over a decade), so it’s been a while since I’ve been with any publisher for a while. This time it’s like getting back into the dating scene while waiting on being asked to dance, wondering if I’ll have something decent to wear or how long it’ll take. I’m not getting any younger.
Then I look at that last lovely cover. How can I not breathe easily while staring at a scene like that and knowing what my protagonist had to do to get to the place where she could…just…breathe?
Doesn’t matter what we do, if it’s new it probably carries with it a certain amount of fear, excitement, trepidation, awe, and eventually understanding. How we cope is our choice.
I think I’ll have another cup of coffee and kick back awhile, not worry so much.
For more info about the latest book: