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Friday, May 16, 2014

Signs, Convergence, Turning Points & Writing


A few weeks ago I was with a group of friends at a race track, and we were getting to watch the simulcast of the Kentucky Derby when tragedy struck. An elderly woman at the table next to ours was chatting with one lady in our group when she dropped dead.  Literally.

Our waitress told us the woman had been battling cancer and this was her first outing in a while. The family were regulars and she loved coming to the track. I took comfort from that information.  The woman was enjoying a relaxing afternoon with her family and friends, doing what she loved to do. Later we learned she suffered a brain aneurism.   

 But the incident’s been sticking with me.  This year I haven’t been writing for all sorts of reasons and excuses.  Then Mother’s Day arrived, and I spent the day with other friends who have also lost their mothers.  We recounted favorite tales about our moms, and I was reminded how much my mother believed in my writing.  She was my biggest fan, and I knew she would grieve that I wasn’t writing.

On the heels of Mother’s Day is my birthday this weekend and later this year I’ll be celebrating my 25th anniversary with the company I work for.   Hmm.  I think life’s trying to tell me something and the lines are converging.

My takeaways?  Life is short; I’ve forgotten to write for the sheer joy of writing; I’m at a turning point.

So this week I’ve been cleaning and organizing the house, trying to bring order to my personal space. I’ve placed a photo of Mom on the table where I usually write.  Come tomorrow my birthday gift to myself will be to put my butt in the chair and my hands on the keyboard with no plan or forethought.  What comes out may be garbage, but I decided I’m not going to care so long as there are words on the pages.  We’ll see how it goes.

I’ve always said I’ve never wanted to live life with regrets.  It’s just too damn short.  When you hit a dry or uncertain spell, what do you draw on for motivation?
Carol Stephenson
Justice At All Costs
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Elise Warner said...

Go Carol. Go. It's your time to write. I try to enjoy the good when it comes to visit.

J Wachowski said...

Oh Carol! Sounds like you needed time and space to refill your well. I read a book that examined when writers wrote most prolifically--turns out, it's not high drama time, but when the writer considers themselves "happy" or "settled" that they write the most easily.
I hope when you settle in your chair this weekend it's a happy time.

Carol Stephenson said...

Thanks everyone. I took out the novella I had started when I left off writing. I decided I still loved the characters so I tweaked the pages & am now plotting it out. :) Carol

Marcelle Dubé said...

Carol, it sounds to me like you needed to take some time away from the writing, and that's okay. You came back to it when you were ready, and that's a blessing.

Happy belated birthday, eh.

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