A group blog featuring an international array of killer mystery, suspense, and romantic suspense writers. With premises and story lines different from your run-of-the-mill whodunits, we tend to write outside the box. We blog several times a week on all topics relating to romantic suspense and mystery, our writing, and our readers. We welcome all comments and often have guest bloggers. All our authors can be contacted separately, too, using their own social media links.

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Julie Moffet . Cathy Perkins . Jean Harrington . Daryl Anderson . Nico Rosso . Maureen A Miller . Sandy Parks . Lisa Q Mathews . Sharon Calvin . Lynne Connolly . Janis Patterson . Vanessa Keir . Tonya Kappes . Julie Rowe . Joni M Fisher . Leslie Langtry

Monday, April 4, 2016

Five Characters You Meet at Book Club

Today the Ladies Smythe & Westin are back in Permanently Booked, a book club-themed mystery. To celebrate—and perhaps as a gentle caution—here are the profiles of a few interesting members you may encounter at your next literary gathering:

Hermione 10.0

I know, we all adore Hermione Granger. This is Hermione on steroids. Uber-dedicated but a bit of a bossypants, she’s already finished every book on the selection list—and she’ll lap you on the re-reads. She prefers to draft her own reader’s guides and the questions are a lot tougher than the ones you prepped for on the Internet.

Sidebar Cindy and Cell Phone Sue

I’m counting these two as one here, since it’s sometimes hard to tell them apart. Sidebar Cindy talks nonstop about everything other than books: her love life, her workout routine, her kids’ soccer games, the last amazing party you weren’t invited to—you name it. Cell Phone Sue texts constantly, with alert pings that drive your dog through the glass coffeetable. She also loves to share photos and takes selfies with the refreshments. This duo usually arrives late, and neither has read the book up for discussion. Closest book club BFFs: Wine-Hog Wanda and Resked-Request Rita.

Fandango Fran
She’s rarely read the book, but you can bet she’s seen the movie or TV show, and blithely tries to fake it. No one except Hermione 10.0 wants to clue her in that the movie had a different ending, because that would be rude and embarrassing. She’s not going to read the book, anyway.

Malachi the Writer Guy
This member never misses a meeting. He’s in your writer’s group, too, but they’re the same thing, right? Malachi the Writer Guy is dying to share his (own) two-thousand-page novel. Usually military fiction with extremely, er, vivid romantic interludes you’ll never scrub from your mind.  Don’t bother trying to figure out a way to get rid of him. It’s futile.

Doodlebug Debbie
No one really knows about Debbie. She never says a word at meetings, but creates endless, highly-detailed illustrations on the back of the reader’s guide handout in shaded pencil. Mutilated unicorns, elaborate skulls, bloody, medieval-looking hatchets, that kind of thing. Probably best not to ask.

I admit, I may have exaggerated a teensy bit here—and if you share any qualities with these characters, I sincerely apologize. See you next month—Hermione 10.0 is already halfway through Permanently Booked!

Please join Lisa Q. Mathews at her website, on Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads

Readers, do you have a character to add to this list? Discuss below in the comments!


Maureen A. Miller said...

I loved this, Lisa! Malachi the Writer Guy is dead on! :)

Lisa Q. Mathews said...

Scary, isn't it? Really makes you want to get off the island--but you can't.

Anne Marie Becker said...

LOL. Love this! And I've been in a book club or two. Definitely spot on with these "characters." ;)

Beth said...

How about the book club members, who I will call Silly and Dilly, who rarely offer to host, always "host" as a duet if they are shamed into it, and usually choose someone else's home? When the book discussion finally begins, Silly and Dilly, who never read the books other months, explain that the book they chose was about "an affair!" (one of the duet's husband was just like the bad hubby in the book.) Oh, I forgot to mention the title of the book "A Summer Affair"!!! They thought it was about a festival or fette. Go figure why I want to start a new book club with dedicated readers. Signed Hermione, Jr.

Marla Cooper said...

So funny—and so true! My only book club experiences were pre-smart phones, but I'm pretty sure every book club has a Cell Phone Sue.

Lisa Q. Mathews said...

Ha, Hermione Jr.! Go for it, Beth. Just send Silly and Dilly to the wrong restaurant meeting place on the wrong day. :-)

Lisa Q. Mathews said...

Marla, and everyone now is possibly just a tiny bit (secretly) guilty, reading their phones inside their purses.

Nancy Raven Smith said...

Uh, oh - I'm talking at my first book club ever next month.

Lisa Q. Mathews said...

Oh no! Hope I didn't make you nervous, Nancy. They'll love you.

Vickie Fee said...

Great fun, Lisa -- and congrats on the new book release! Recently was invited to my first book club gathering where I was the one who wrote the book. One lady who hadn't read the book, but said she was really looking forward to it, kept interrupting whenever someone mentioned anything specific about the story, saying "please, no spoilers"!

Lisa Q. Mathews said...

Ooo, Vickie, great character! How could I have left out Spoil Alert Gert?

Sandy Parks said...

Oh my gosh, too funny. I belonged to a book club for years before cell phones. They were a cast of characters for sure. I finally dropped out when too many people seemed to have prejudices against other's choices, and I felt the books we read all seemed to fit under a dominant member's preferences. Great post!

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