Seriously. I'm asking how you do it. If you thought this was a "how to" on how to prioritize, you can skip the post. Haha. But just so you don't go away empty handed, here's a beautiful pic of a La Jolla sunset. Hubby and I just celebrated (early) our 25th anniversary (and yes, I'm working).
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Lately, I've found myself completely underwater with all kinds of work. I have the day job which takes an unusual amount of time. Then I have the writing job, which fills in much of the rest. Oh, but wait. I also have a husband, daughter and two dogs (and a house) who expect me to take care of them too. (And yes, I'm including the house since it's woefully in need of a cleaning.)
So the big question is: Who comes first? Yes, the daughter is 17 and capable of handling much on her own, but she's in the tough year of college hunting and applications and still needs her mom. The dogs definitely need me as does the house. Where do I start? Who wins me how much of the time?
Trust me, the house has taken the biggest back seat, but at some point, I HAVE to clean it. LOL. Do meals bite the dust and I just become the Sandwich Queen?
I'm really curious how people manage their time between two jobs and family. Help a girl out. I need tips. (I'm feeling a lot like Jess St. John in Against The Wall.
18 comments:
I find the busier I am, the more I get done!
Hats off to you, Dee, for wearing so very many of them. Women in general are wonderful at multitasking, don't you think? Pundits say it's because way back in cave man days when the alpha males were out hunting (one mastadon at a time)women were gathering nuts, scraping hides, cooking meat, watching the kids and shooing away predators. Also picking lice from each other's bodies. I know, gross, but that's the way it was! In all seriousness, the fact that you do all you do and write books too is amazing. Just wanted to say. . .
Hi Janie,
Maybe we can rub elbows the next time we see each other. I think I tend to freeze like a deer in the headlights as my list piles up. I need a new way to cope. Haha. Thanks for dropping in!
It's not fair for me to answer because I'm retired and my time is my own. : ) However, when I'm at my busiest it's always the poor old house that gets neglected. If I could justify it, I'd hire a lady to clean house. That might be your answer. : )
Hi Jean,
You're very sweet. I agree. I think most of the time women are awesome at multitasking. I just find that I personally drop a lot of balls as I juggle my life. I'm wondering how I can fix that. (Quicker on the catch and higher on the throw? Who knows!) Just seriously glad that I don't have lice or need to pick it off my pals. LOL. Thanks for coming by!
Hi Robena,
Yep, I've been jealous of your "retirement." Although you work so hard, I don't really consider you retired. I definitely need to think about hiring help around the house. That sounds like a superb idea! Thanks for dropping by!
I feel like a fireman most of the time, so busy that I'm putting out whichever fire is blazing the biggest at the time. I do have a to-do list and organize by priority, but I try to be flexible because I know stuff comes up. Sigh. Usually, I have the things I *need* to get done at a certain time written down, and squeeze in the rest as I can. And forgive myself when I can't get it all done (daily). ;)
Plan. Plan pockets of time where you are with your daughter. Get your daughter to clean the house and do the laundry, too - tell her you're prepping her to be on her own, lol. Plan meals with her as well, and expect her to do her part. You can't take it all on you. Everyone in the family (hubby too) can help with household chores, including cooking. Good luck, hon! It's never easy, but it's always worth while.
Hi Anne Marie,
Yes! I hear you... feeling like a fireman(woman!) trying to put out the hottest flames as they get closer! And I do try to forgive myself all the failures, because otherwise, I'd be toast a long time ago! Thanks for the reminder!
Hi Christine,
I definitely need to get help from the family. I think I need a magic wand for that. Haha. My planning skills need help too. That's probably part of my problem... Ugh. Thanks for the tips! I'll work on them!
It's so hard, Dee J. Hats off to you for working as well as everything else you do. I write full time and still feeling like an electrified squirrel 70% of the time. The other 30% I'm asleep. My house is definitely a time suck. It needs some sanding and painting done on top of the basic cleaning, we possibly have a leak in the shower. DH is great with all that stuff but his job is all-consuming too. Ugh. Good luck on your quest. I think the 17 y-o is a priority though. Enjoy her while she's still home! And make sure she helps out ;)
Oh Dee, feeling your pain!
My 17 year old is in the same boat. Work sucks daylight like a vacuum and writing fills all open voids.
Then, I recently audited an online class which focused on the importance of scheduling rest & play for positive mental health. (Great! more for the To DO list.) The only 3 things that help me hit the re-set?
Exercise, meditating and naps!
Hi Toni,
I envy your ability to write full time, and I'm glad that I'm not alone in the struggle to get it all done. Yes, I'm feeling those last years with my daughter at home and feel I should spend more time with her. Like I said... I need to get better at the juggle. Thanks for stopping in!
Hi J,
Everything you said applies to me, too. I wish I had time for a nap. They are so rare for me. I should schedule things and I'd probably be in better shape because I do tend to follow schedules. I definitely like the idea of positive mental health! Thanks for the awesome tips!
My husband has to come first now as he's ill. Next--the most important thing in my life is writing--keeps me sane.I try to do the writing in the morning when there's the least amount of interruption. Haven't got a animals since we lost our poodle. Cried for days. Do feel that I can never catch up.
Hi Elise,
So sorry your husband is ill. And equally sorry that you lost your pup. I know that pain as well. Seems neither one of us is alone in that "never going to catch up" feeling. Sending positive vibes your way. Like you, I think the writing keeps me sane sometimes. (Of course, other times it makes me crazy. Haha.) Thanks for stopping in!
I agree with some of the other commenters. Hire someone to clean once in a while and/or enlist your daughter to help you. Someone told me once the easiest way to make it hard for your child is to make it easy for them.
Hi Kate,
I hear ya and totally agree. I'm just not a fan of the yelling/guilt heaping mother and short of those things I don't know how to make things happen in my house. But the cleaning help... yeah... that's gotta happen. Like yesterday!!! Thanks for coming by!
Hi Dee! Oh man, I so struggle with this too! And like you, I tend to freeze when I'm super busy, with no idea where to start first! I've put in a request for Time Fairy and I'll totally share her with you if she ever shows up. ;)
Hi Robin,
LOL on Time Fairy! Wouldn't that be nice! And thanks for sharing...even the thought. Haha. Well, if nothing else, I'm glad I'm not alone on the whole freezing thing. Thanks for dropping in!
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